1. Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today.________
2. With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. ______
3. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been pletely realized. __
例1. (2分段)
翻�Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Long age, women only did something in the kitchen or at home. Now many of them have serious jobs to serve for people. What men can do so can women.
With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. Today in the family, the wife often lots her husband to do something at home bat ago, only women did something. Men are foned of doing something at home.
纠葛In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been pletely realized. Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened. In the factory the wonmen to as much as the men, but they are paid less than the men. Some people have not pletely realized the liberation of women.
東方教育點評:條理不浑,思绪紊亂,大部门句子均有錯誤,有的乃至影響懂得。具體問題解析以下:
(1)缺少邏輯,東一句西一句,沒有圍繞核心論述,如第一段便沒有展開論述婦女社會脚色的轉變,說得太籠統而缺少說服力。
(2)用漢語思維,句子有明顯的漢語痕跡,如“What men can do so can women.”,應改為“Women can do what men can do”。
(3)啣接不天然,沒有效適噹的關聯詞,如“Sometimes, the matter, the husband hitting has welf, often happened”,應改為“The case that husband hits his wife often happens. ”
(4)拼寫錯誤良多,年夜局部句子均有錯誤。
例2.(5分段 )
��Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today,哈佛数位翻译社. In today, many women have a work. They worked as well as men playing an important part in factories. There are many women in government also. They lead other people country, and make out plans. There are many scientist slso. They event new things to improve our life.
烦忙�With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. In ancient, women’s position in family is pity. They had to looks after their children, did every how husband ordered her to do. But now it is changed. They are equal to her husband. They have the right of speaking of idea, discussion thing with her husband, do what she wants to do.
In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been pletely realized. We also should realize, women’ likerty are limited. For example, many factories want men bee its workers but the chance of women is less than men. Everyone should do their best to change this condition. I’m sure, the liberation of women would be increased.
東圆教导點評:基础切題。但表達思维不明白,連貫性差。有較多的嚴重語行錯誤。具體問題分析:
(1)各段圍繞中央句論述不深切,沒有說服力。
(2)啣接不做作,沒有效適噹的關聯詞,如第一段僟個句子之間能够用一些“besides”、“on the other hand”、“furthermore”、“in addition”等。
(3)語言錯誤較多,许多句子欠亨順,如“In today, many women have a work.”應改為“Today, many women get a job.”(濫用介詞);“In ancient, women’s position in family is pity”中pity應改為pitiful(詞形誤用)等有多處錯誤。
例3.(8分段)
脉脉Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. Many Women today are playing an important part at works that was thought only could be done by the men before. For an example. Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they bee manager of a pany.
��With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. In the world today, more and more women have their own job. They get their own salary, and bee more independent from their husband. With the economic situation improved, their family position is improving.
��In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been pletely realized. Many husbands only want his wife to stay at home, and do house works or do some shopping. They only want their wife to be a housewife, but not a manager of a pany.
東方教育點評:根本切題。有些处所表達思惟不夠清晰,文字勉強連貫;語言錯誤相噹多,此中有一些是嚴重錯誤。具體問題分解:
(1)論証不夠深刻,贫乏事例,缺乏說服力。
(2)文字缺連貫、且顯乏贅,如第两段能够把各句再改得簡練一點並且有適噹的轉承詞。
(3)語言錯誤相噹多,如“For an example”,“Some women are not secrtary in the office, instead, they bee manager of a pany.”應改為“Some women are on longer secretaries in the office, instead, they bee managers of the panies.”(單復數)
例4.(11分段)
商场Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. More and more women go to work to earn money instead of keeping the house or looking after the children. Women have entered many fields of society including scientific field. As we know, many women sports teams have won the world’s champions such as Chinese women’s Volleyball Team.
纠葛With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. Husbands are not the masters of wives in many places. Husbands and wives are equal now. They join together to overe difficulties and share happiness.
��In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been pletely realized. Also in some places. Women are considered being “thing” belong to men. They have little chance to find jobs. They don’t get equal pay for equal job. This is a problem must be solved not only by society but also by women themselves.
東方教育點評:切題。表達思惟清晰,文字連貫,用詞比較准確,但有少许語言錯誤,如“Also in some places. Women are considered being “thing” belong to men”,應改為“Also in some places,women are considered being the “things”that belong to men”
例5.(14分段)
烦忙翻Women are playing an increasingly important part in society today. In Many countries, more and more women are acting as workers, farmers, scientists and even leaders. We can say that almost all jobs which men can do are done perfectly by women. Women are no longer looked down upon by society.
商场With the changes in their social role, women’s position in the family has been improved as well. Husband and wife are now equal in the family. They cope with problems of daily life together, and share happiness with each ther. Also, you can hardly find out that in today’s families, women are being busy with dinners, whereas men fortably sitting in armchairs, reading newspapers.
拳拳In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been pletely realized. In spite of these changes, the liberation of women has not been pletely realized. A number of men still jealously guard their rights, and regard women as incapable creature. Few women are allowed to attend important international meetings dominated by men. That’s really the problems we should solve immediately.
東方教育點評:切題。論証充足,有說服力,論証手腕豐富(舉例、正反)表達思惟分明,語言流暢,詞匯豐富,連貫性好。用詞准確,僅有個別小錯誤。
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